Monday 1 June 2009

On Line Shopping

People who bought "Johnny Cash : The Autobiography", also bought "Pat Cash an autobiography", I don't think so. I can buy Robin Trower's "Another Days Blues" for 20.00 quid from Amazon or for 7 quid from "Alternative sellers", what's this? Why are Amazon selling things cheaper from other people? I smell a rat. Actually I'm not 100% what a rat smells like, never got close enough and hope I never do.

When I'm surfing the net of an evening I often get his message "This page contains unsecure items", I always click Yes to continue dowloading. Nothing ever happens, what's the point of that message? What insecure items? Clingy Jpeg's?

Then there this one; "You are now leaving the secure zone", Yes. I left the secure zone the day I installed microsoft products on my computer, it's a bit rich putting that pop-up on screen now isn't it Bill?

"This pornographic video has a deadly virus", Yes, "Do you wish to disable the virus checker?" Yes! hurry up you twat

But why am I documenting my filthy habits for the world to see? Partly because no one reads this and partly because that's not the point. The point is that internet security doesn't work because the idiot users always click "Yes" when they should click "No".

You see, it's no good having a mega-buck virus checker if the guy at next desk knows your network passwork. If someone leaves their computer unattended here's what you do:

Take a screen print of the desktop, delete all the icons on the desktop, set the screen print as the wallpaper. It will look like the icons are there but when the user clicks on them nothing happens, it's even better when the help desk logs on with a remote session to try to fix it.

Have you seen that new Reggie Perrin program with Martin Clunes? Don't bother, it's rubbish.

I'm preparing a piece on cuppa soup for the near future, if you have any requests please put them in comments. I mean requests for posts, I'm not mailing cuppa soup to anyone. Unless you are a leggy blonde, I think we know where this is heading so let's just nip it in the bud now.

JJ

2 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Afrikaners call him 'Pit Kish'.

Soup Waiter said...

They're probably right but good for them, they won't go wrong with Reggie Perrin (except the new one)