Monday, 8 September 2008

Y Blog

Here it is, the Y Blog, after this you will never need to look at yourself in the shower again, or me. I mean that's all psychology is anyway, when people come to me with problems I say "you have to take all your clothes off before I'll listen to you" usually people decide things aren't that bad after all. Easy. Anyway, Y Blog:

1. Confirmation. I need someone to tell me its good, even if I think it's rubbish and even if it is rubbish

2. This might be my way to becoming a writer and give up this dull job. I refuse to recognise that writing is a job / career. I think it's just a fun thing to do and get paid millions for, that's how I picture everyone at work except me. I can be that naive if I want to and don't say "hellooo, smell the coffeeeeee" because you are a muppet

3. I'm unhappy, who writes happy blogs? (well obviously happy people, like the cake baking blog from Uber Ann but most blogs are whiney). I mean the "blog me" is unhappy. I have a god-like power over my alter ego so I'll never let him be happy, just like the real God does to his "issue" (Gods children in the Bible where called "his issue" and he begat them, except on Sundays).

4. Most blogs are people complaining about their jobs or social lives. Why? Because their jobs and social lives are boring and pointless, just like their blogs.

5. People will read anything on the internet, that's what people do now

6. what do surveys do? all surveys are paid for by someone. If the surveyor understands his employer, he will not bring the results his employer doesn't want to see. In the seventies all housewives wanted nice kitchens, in the eighties all men wanted to show their feminine sides, in the nineties men and women wanted to get blind drunk. Did the surveys predict these things or measure them? Or did they just make up stuff and say "this is what people do now" and we all started doing it

7. Why do Christians insist on saying Jesus died for my sins, that's like getting a letter from a solicitor saying your uncle Bert died and left you his debts. He came back to life anyway so I want my bloody sins back and yes I've been counting

8. Am saying all this is bunch of hooey? No, there is no need to get defensive. I see it as a kind of literary masturbation. It feels good, uses up some time and as I've always maintained, if someone would pay me to do this I'd be a millionaire quite quickly

In the other hand, if you analyse everything in this way you just end up saying all work is prostitution and we're all going to hell in hand-cart anyway so who cares? Well, what's the bloody point of this post then? eh? It's fifteen minutes of my life down the toilet, three minutes of your life you won't get back. Instead of "Y Blog" I should have said "Y Bleedin' Bother".

Wow, I feel really good now, I think I'll have a cup of tea.