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I would have stopped a monsoon to walk in your shoes,
And let the heavens rain blood because I couldn't find you,
The weight of world's slowed my walk to a crawl and I knew that all I had to do was to be by your side,
but I couldn't find you,
My heart burned to a cinder because I couldn't find you,
The black of my soul clawed at me in my sleep,
Still I didn't find you,
You are my life, you are my happiness,
Still I won't find you.

Your question is like a whisper on eternity,
The day you looked into my eyes I knew,
Shamans and fools became lords and sycophants,
I fell down, and I laughed and I cried,
I loved in the court of the unholy Jesters,
The eyes of the accusers made my desperation,
Steeped in self denial they called me the accuser.

These will be the great fallow illusions of my sin,
There will be the one who dares to agress against Me,
as I have seen His face and His appearance ,
I will equally call him Evil,
And when I call his name he will fall to his knees.

And he will no longer know me,
I shall know him no more,
for the blackened tides will tear us all into nothing,
those aggressions will be the blood in my soul,
he will see me and I will be his decripitude.

Time holds me in his long dark fingers,
The reaper sees me from the long horiozons,
I see him and I dare to look in his eyes,
the familiarity of contempt our sole exchange.

Then I took a long look into the distant bloody water,
There was the love I had denied my being to have,
My perfection stared at me with painful longing,
This was surely the thing to unlock my solitude,
I closed my eyes and slowly walked away.

There I reigned darkness into souls,
the opposers all became the damned,
and when there were no more spirits to love,
I faded into nothing, forever into silence,
the abyss where I always yearned to be,
where nothing else can exist.

JJ

Revelations, a Sunday Service

A long time ago, when the earth was still flat and gravity hadn't been invented. A small band of ape-like creatures planted some wheat near a river, an arduous task without gravity. The wheat was washed away by a flood. Said one ape-man to another "see, told you it was too close to the sodding river, see", the other retorted "well how the buggering blazes did that happen? The water is supposed to stay in the river!" After much furrowing of pronounced brows, they decided to call it a Flood and that it must have been caused by some huge creature emptying his waters into the river. Must be a very big and dangerous creature.

By and by the ape-men collected a bunch of stories about storms, hail, earthquakes, shooting stars and such like, all caused by a creature much bigger than themselves. Eventually they gave the creature a name, he was called "Gordon the Bennet who begat David, King of the Ape-Men and Made Ape-Men in his Own Image, even Peter Beardsley". So whenever a new calamity hit the gathering they would all chant "Gordon Bennet!" Unfortunately, these ape-men were all wiped out by a rival bunch when they got into a fight over who's superior being was bigger. (note: there was a surviving splinter group who avoided the massacre by leaving the main group earlier. The surviving group claims there are two "t"'s in Bennet(t), hence they had to leave and start their own thing. Thus the immortal teachings live on).

And that's pretty much how it is today, tribal warfare fanned by a few ignorant zealots (not the biblical Zealots, just the ordinary ones). The surviving ape-men admit that floods are caused by rain but now they claim the moon landing was a hoax and God makes fossils look really old to fool us. That's laughingly called "Intelligent Design", see FSM , this type of thought all falls under Dualism. Here, everything comes in two flavours. If you're not good you must be evil and if you're wearing the wrong coloured dress/robe you'll burn in hell forever.

Monotheists take a different view, "desire is the cause of all suffering" etc. You can't change the world but you can change yourself, everyone be nice to each other then we can all get along. There's no heaven or hell so no one ever gets smote, or indeed, smitten. According to dualist philosophers, the monotheists "are a bunch of whinging, boring, tree-hugging, flatulent, vegetarian numpties". According to the monotheists "we love our brothers and sisters very much, the barbarian apes."

Apart from those two mainstream methods of spreading intolerance and misery, there are the occasional crack-pots given to all sorts of scurrilous fancies and bizarre gibberish. For example, the French Renaissance crack-pot known as Nasaldoormouse. So called because of his nasal whining voice (aka French Accent) and because he was scared of everything (doomsayers usually are). This idiot still has legions of fans who wait for some calamity to hit their gathering and then proclaim "ooohh, so that's what he meant by 'the fabled three and their drummer will be stoned while the Moistened Ones look on and wail and gnash their teeth' ".

So the main thing of it is, don't worry about stuff, there's plenty of people out there who wish you well and will be there when you need someone. But while you're at it, have a look around and see if there's anyone who could do with some support from you, then offer it. Not all the time, sometimes, the rest of time you can play outside, it's ok.

All rise and sing from the hymn-books of the mercyful; "Temple of Love".

:)

JJ

Arse!!

Went to the World Press Photo Exhibition yesterday. The pics were less war related than last year, so there was more variety but not much really spectacular stuff. It was pretty windy in Knokke and colder than Brussels, still nice to be beside the seaside though.

On the way back we took a detour to Gent and stopped for a milk shake at one of the lovely riverside bars. Then a strange thing happened on the motorway, a group of about fifteen guys mooned us from a bridge, maybe some kind of sports team jape. Or maybe that's just what Belgians do at the weekend.

But that's not the arse in the title, oh no, that one belongs firmly to me. Must have been something I had at breakfeast, curses "bread of the day" for the umpteenth time. To be fair their bread is nice, but the breakfast menu is only marinally more apealing than hospital food (NHS variety anyway). Only cooked thing on the menu is a boiled egg and they poisoned me with it. Does any one know where to get a decent fry up in Etterbeek? I can't even find a decent sausage, all the Belgian ones have meat in them.

Flip, Flop and Fry,
I don't care if I die,
etc.

JJ