Sunday, 15 June 2008

KickBladder 4 : Please Relieve Me

I've often wondered what it's like to play a game for a living. I'd like to try it or even writing, music, acting etc. What about people who make money having sex? Is that a job? It's not a career, imagine trying to sneak a promotion by sleeping with your pimp, it doesn't make any sense.

It's the same with sport, the vast, vast majority of people who earn a living at sport are not winning competitions, they're finishing in the top fifty in their country. They get paid but not the millions that a handful of winners get. They don't even get their pictures in the paper.

The thing now is that Croat can throw their game against Pole just to try to Knock Out Gerry, Gerry has to beat the leather shorts brigade (the other ones over the border) but those boys have to win to stay alive. The Dutch can let Romania beat them to make certain that Italy and France are both eliminated. I think they have the right to do that after they surprisingly tonked both fancied teams. Meanwhile Spain are still winning, Portugal put the childrens team on to let Swiss win "but what are the Russians doing about it?" I hear you cry, they've knocked out the Greeks that's what.

Today's drama was all about Czech and the vengeful Turks, at two nil down the vengeful Turks kicked a Czech in the head and ran up the other end to score a goal. Then Cech dropped the ball and let the vengeful Turks in again, a few minutes later they were at it again. The Czechs were inconsolable, it was a good job it was raining because it looked like those men were crying. They assured us it was just rain. Footballers do have an alarming tendency to tears though, one never sees tears on a Cricket pitch, sometimes a seagull might land on it though, or is that a boat I'm thinking of? No, it's definately a seagull.

Interesting but not as interesting as the fact that Klasnic is the first player ever to play in the competition with a second-hand kidney. He's playing for Croatia but he was born in Germany, see previous KickBladder comments about nationality of players. What got to me was that he rejected his mother's kidney but kept a second one from his father, how can he reject his mothers kidney? Heartless sod, she must be devastated.

But what's that got to with anything? I can only imagine that Klasnic might have some specialist requirements during the half time refreshments. It's well known that most contintental europeans have a disgusting habit of putting lemon in the tea instead of milk, as opposed to the incontinental europeans (the Brits) who use milk as its supposed to be used and put the lemon on appropriately battered fish. Lemon tea is major factor in kidney failure generally, that and unqualified people giving medical advice. I've long suspected that Klasnic bought his anti rejection drugs from the internet but I can't prove it. I haven't given up though, he'll slip up one day.

If I'd had anti-rejection drugs five years ago maybe my wife wouldn't have left me but then if I really did have them, I'm not entirely sure if I would have taken them.

And on that bombshell...