Thursday, 20 December 2007

Smog Alert!

Yesterday evening we had smog alerts in downtown Brussels.

This morning it looks foggy, I suppose that must be it. But flippin' eck it's cold, -4.5! Luckily it hasn't rained for almost a week so there isn't much ice but still someone "binned it" in a rented white van, the Avenue Tervuren was backed up a good long way. I think that's the only time I've seen it like that on the way to work, it's usually blocked going the other way. But I don't go the other way.

Talking of cold fronts. The Belgians, by order of His Majesty, have finally formed a government. Sort of, it's an interim measure to last until 23rd March, thus proving once again the stupendous powers of the Belgians to "do it later". That'll just give them two and bit months to make it a full calendar year sans Government. I wonder if there's a record for this sort of thing? If any country deserves the record for doing nothing for the longest time ever, I think it should be my adoptive homeland, Belgium. I'm buggered as to why these people don't play cricket, surely to God this is one place where people have got time for series of five day tests.

It's been a slow day, the trees outside are getting whiter, the smog seems to be settling on them. There's no smog in outer space but there are other things, according to the Beeb yesterday a black hole in galaxy 3C321, 1.4 million light years away is blasting a jet of particles and radiation on to another nearby galaxy. That's worse than smog. If you want to know how many nuclear bomb equivalents it is, forget it, the universe laughs at such comparison. Any man-made nasty, compared to a jet blast from a supermassive black hole, isn't even a fart in a bag.

Talking of space, only 22 days left until the arrival of The Silver Machine, I hope it really does glide sideways through time. Either that or it has winter tyres for the trip to Baden Baden - remember that? Where the England team camped for the 2006 world cup, yes we're going there for a party the week after The Delivery. As I'm going with girlfriend I might stand better chance of scoring than England did (sorry, but I really am going to Baden-Baden, I had to use that line I might never get another chance). Anyway, that's a good line by most sports writing standards, I could have said it's known for its baths and spa's and so, like the England team, I'm looking forward to being taken to the cleaners. But there's more to it than that, there's also the famous Baden-Baden Casino where you can also spend ninety minutes or more sweating nervously like a headless chicken caught in the headlights just to walk away without even the shirt you came in.

Ok now, that's enough cheesy sports coverage for one day, go home.

Go on, bugger off!


Monday, 17 December 2007

Rock Lobster

What a week! Led Zeppelin and The Spice Girls are back!

I would've gone to see them but I went to meet some folks at the christmas market in Aachen instead. Life's like that, one mans wheat is another man's chaff, I'm even developing a taste for "glue-wine".

As it is christmas you can get your Elvis Presley Duck's here and for the more discerning shopper; Arse Face Soap, it's about time somebody invented that.

As if that isn't enough you could sign up your loved one to the Jordan Fan Club Mailing List here, just imagine the look on her face! It'll be just like that time you bought her a home brew kit.

If your relationship is beyond that phase, ie you are still together, there's plenty more giving to do: this little beauty i-Cybot can carry a drinks can and sweep the floor at the same time, finally a practical use for "science". Maybe next year they'll make one that cooks and well, does other things too.

But if you really want to get into the spirit, check out the Jesus Action Figure, it's a bargain at under ten dollars. Or, if you don't want to get into the spirit, get yourself a Devil's Action Figure from good old Amazon.

If christmas isn't your thing then you might want to check out the Osama Bin Laden Action Set, I don't know where you can buy it but I think there's no lower age limit so it's quite a flexible gift.

Finally, if you really want to go the extra mile (1.6 kilometres), you can buy an acre of land on The Moon here. I'm not sure where you go for planning permission, try The Clangers, good luck.

Happy Shopping!