Michael Jackson

I was a bit surprised there, I always thought of him as youngster. I'm sure he used to be very young once, and black. Isn't it odd that as he got whiter and whiter he sold less and less records and eventually turned into a child molester, allegedly. I still think it was more the parents opportunism than anything bad, I'm no great fan but he didn't seem malicious or manipulative. Naive if anything.

It doesn't add up though, what about the thing with Liz Taylor? On the one hand young boys, one the other hand MILF. Speaking as the one voted by class as "most likely to become a sexual deviant" I can honestly say this boys/milf question doesn't scan.

But like any celebrity there's more to Mojambo than sex and sensasionalism. Buying the Beatles catalogue was very smart, and like a true businessman stereotype he upset his best friend Paul "Macca" MacFartney in the process. Rumour has it that Whitey left the Jowelled one something in his will, the remaining Jackson 4 are hoping it's about 600 million dollars of debt. Once that's paid off, the others can go back to collecting press clippings and sticking pins in Whacko dolls. Sibling rivalry, it's only natural.

I don't know if the Senegalese really practice voodoo but I know there's a pretty famous witchcraft shop in Huddersfield. If anyone should be under suspicion of showing puppies to young boys it should be Jermaine. If you give a black man a gay name he's bound have problems, just look at him, he's creepy. And he was always the first to defend Snowcloud when these things went public.

So the only remaining question is; if The Lord of the Ring was in so much debt why didn't the American tax payers bail him out? Isn't that what they do now? The state should have bought Kimosabe and then he wouldn't have died needlessly. Such a waste of talent, so young, so vibrant, such a fucked up wierdo.

I can't be the only one having difficulty dealing with this. Throughout the eighties he was the undisputed World Champion Jumpy Squeaky Thing, we all admired him, then it all went a bit legal and now he's dead. What can one say?

The funeral arrangements are bit more complex than usual, they've got a blue coffin for the plastic, yellow for the beatles records and green for the organic parts. It's hard to imagine in six months time his chin could be the volume knob on a Mitsubishi Pajero. These celebs love all that re-cycling lark and I don't see why he should be any different.

This is JJ saying "ooowwww!" and goodnight.

JJ