Friday, 22 May 2009

Anti Gravity Boy

When you get down to it Superman is pretty lame, compared to Batman, Spiderman, the X-Men, Hellboy, Iron Man etc. His first problem is that he can do everything, he's got too much power, so when he comes under attack it's hard to believe he's ever really struggling. It's hard to identify or empathise with him at any level. He is the Coporate version of a super-hero, it's just too much.

His second problem is he only has one enemy, Lex Luthor. The comic book superman and the tv series version had lots of enemies, but the movies only have Lex Luthor. It's not good enough and it shows a singular lack of imagination by the writers, "boooo!".

So here's the solution, take away the x-ray vision, the super hearing and that crap thing when he blows on something to freeze it and then make him fight six enemies at once. Also, he needs a personality. This "super" man is a super-boring goody two shoes, have a drink and lighten up dude!

You might think this is turning into that thing Will Smith did but that was rubbish, not that I've seen it, even though I own the DVD. I just know in advance that Will ruins every film he's in, it's not his fault, he just can't act. How many sequels have come from Will Smith movies? I don't know because I would have avoided them but I did see Men In Black II and it sucked, he should take the hint.

So, what's Anti Gravity Boy? Well, that's me! I had a dream where I figured out that instead of trying to fly I could mentally repel gravity, causing my body to float in the air. It looks the same as flying but the physics is different. I think it might actually work. That Russian scientist who invented the Theremin reckoned that he could take off simply by grabbing hold of a huge gyroscope. I saw the black and white footage of him waving a gyroscope around his head, that was three quarter's of tonne of steel and he really didn't look that strong.

So, from a 750kg spinning wheel to using "The Force" to fly isn't really that much of stretch. The question is, what does one do with the flying ability? I wouldn't want to be a circus exhibit, hanging around womens bathroom windows is going be interesting for a couple of days, then what? A courrier service? Surveillence? Bor-ring.

It doesn't seem worth the effort, might as well keep using the metro. I've 9 trips left on my ticket for now anyway, maybe then I'll see if I can figure out this flying lark.

I really did have that dream, that was the inspiration for this.



Leni Qinan said...

Consider not to use it for work and let yourself float for fun. It must be great.

BTW, I always thought Lex Luthor was a lot more interesting than Superman. I can't resist that evil touch.

Joliet Jake said...

I fly in dreams a lot, just can make the darn thing work in this world