Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Tales of the Unexpended

Taxi drivers always say they know the way until you get going, then they ask you if you've been there before. Otherwise you wouldn't get in the cab.

My internet provider, Telenet, on line help only sends answers on email, the question? what's my email password? So if I can't get into email what use is this help? I can create a new account on line but they send the new account details to the same email address. So I phoned the helpesk, all three of them, they said it should be fixed in two or three days. Which probably means my order was sitting in someones in tray, lazy hyenas. That was four months ago.

I was in Paris two years ago to see that picture. "La Joconde" the French name, (also known as La Gioconda, this is the feminine form of Giocondo), the sitter was the wife of Francesco del Giocondo, her name was Lisa Gherardini the painting is also know as the Mona Lisa, this title means Madam Lisa. And then it was a film with Bob Hoskins.

I was walking to the metro and there's a part where the pavement is blocked by construction, they've built a small wooden walk way to get round it isnt even 3 ft wide (91 cm). There's this fat woman Coming the other way with a little white terrier. So I'm Waitirg behind two girls and theres a guy behind me, half way along the dog Stopped to take a dump. She was embarrassed, if only I knew the french words, I would have told her. The girls were messing around so one stepped in it and spread it around the narrow path. It was a bit runny anyway

I happened to notice this slogan on the website of a certain software firm "Your Potential. Our Passion". The more I think about it, I'm just not convinced this multi billion dollar corporation is passionate about my potential, we've never even met. Potential do do what anyway? Make a cheesy slide show with sliding captions synchronised to "Simply the Best"? Thanks but I'll manage without it.

I prefer the chinese approach "lucky 8 computer software company, boost your fertility 100% guaranteed!", of course that's horseshit but I'd rather buy from a company which falsly claims to boost my fertility than one that tells bland lies and then bores me into a coma. At least the the chinese are talking about something I'm interested in. Gambling and fertility should be more prominent in western culture, all this stuff about sports, celebrities, investment portfolios and hedge funds it's just money and sex. That's what it all boils down to.

Oh my god, I just figured out what "Hedge Fund" means! Hedge as in "hedging your bets", Fund as in "the clients money". There.

I'm tired, go away now.


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