Monday, 27 April 2009

Time Magazine

You may have noticed that Time Magazine did a piece about this blog. They said "some of the socio-political commentary is truly cutting edge and quite remarkable for someone who isn't a professional journalist". So I decided to reciprocate and have a look at their mag.

What a load of bollocks - you can quote that.

Do you still think this is cutting edge?

Time Magazine is a big fat stinking rotten crusty dinosaur. What were they writing about in the buld up to the biggest recession in like, ever? Al Gore's home movie about Polar Bears stuck on ice bergs. Because they didn't see it coming, unlike that fella who was sacked from RBS for saying "this is a really bad idea", why isn't his face on the front cover of fucking Time fucking Magazine? Embarrassing? Yes it would be.

Why do people still read this crap? It's obvious they have no more insight than that fat bloke down the pub. Now they're writing ad nauseum about the size of the recession and how they cleverly predicted Barack Obama to win the Election and he's going to make history. This seems to be a magazine aimed solely at clueless people who are somehow isolated from the entire world. Here's a revolutionary idea for you Time Magazine people: TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T ALLREADY KNOW!

And please don't write any more articles about how the dinosaurs (your relatives) "might" have died out following a meteor strike, I'm not interested in another fucking crater under the sea off Mexico. I'm sticking to my own theory - they died of syphillis because penis-illin' hadn't been invented.

You can still disseminate information on paper but I'll tell you what; the people who work in the business of shifting critical information aren't doing it like that anymore. They're using fancy blue glowy things that make beepy noises, that's the cutting edge, a memory on a stick and a dual core apple with a shiny lid.

Anyhoot, Time Magazine? No. Time Gentlemen, please.

Next time I'll be talking Cobblers about the slow decline of the shoe mending industry in a piece entitled "Thanks for nothing you bunch of C**ts".



Gorilla Bananas said...

Do you expect people to kiss your arse because you read The Economist? That's a straightforward question, not an insult.

Joliet Jake said...

No. But there should be some other form recognition of my splendidness

George said...

You're absolutely right, Joliet Jake: if no one else is willing to kiss your butthole, have some ribs removed and do it yourself!