Thursday, 30 April 2009

Saints Alive !

That's an odd thing to say, why would anyone say that? It was St George's day last Thursday. George was an English knight who rescued a maiden (virgin) by slaying a dragon. Whoever said Sainthood is bestowed upon the virtuous was talking bollocks. This is why Mother Theresa will never be a saint, she hasn't killed anything in the pursuit of a good shag.

There are some thing's I really love about the church, in some respects it's real good old fashioned boys club, drinking and fighting to the max. But what else happened on this auspicious day? Bearing in ming that St Georges day was last week (the 23rd), here are some top events on this day in history (meaning today, the 30th). No I don't know what the point is, there is no connection:

Willie Nelson was born in 1933
Elvis recorded Jailhouse Rock in 1957 (Presley not Costello, idiot)
Premier of McVicar starring Roger Daltry in 1980
Jesus of Nazareth was crucified in 0030
Darrell Sweet of Nazareth died of a heart attack as they arrived in New Albany for a gig in 1999
Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun committed suicide. They had been married for one day. 1945
Monica Seles was stabbed in the back during a tennis match in Hamburg 1993.

I haven't made up that Nazareth thing, check That was the second coming (Ok, I made up that bit). Spooky isn't it? No? Suit yourself then, what do I care I'm a Heathen.

It's gradually becoming more acceptable to waive flags and prance around on St Georges and why not? Other countries do it, there should be a national holiday in all of Europe. Once the Scottish oil runs out and they finally get independence we'll be able to divest ourselves of the Welsh and Northern Irish and the flags will really come out. England for the English say I. I'm staying put in Belgium though, I don't need to be surrounded by football hooligans and binge drinking teenagers, especially at weekends. Belgium is much more weekend-ish on Saturday's and Sundays, they don't even open the shops on Sunday.

Now that I'm old and can't handle it anymore I've decided that binge drinking is a bad thing. It's not for lack of trying, you can ask Girlfriend, I just can't manage that second bottle of Bacardi every night.

Actually I didn't know Adolf and Eva were even married, I wonder if the marriage was properly consummated? In one day? I would be shame to have died without even having a nibble, for her I mean, I didn't care much for Adolf, shocking temper. Always shouting and stomping around, there's just no need for it is there? We're all under pressure but you just have to get on as best you can don't you?

On that note...



Gorilla Bananas said...

Hitler liked to masturbate while watching women urinate.

Joliet Jake said...

That's remarkably common, I don't know if could stand around waiting while they drink all that water though