Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Everybody Loves Somebody

I couldn't help my self laughing at Barack Obama taking the oath of office. Of all the things to screw up, only the entire planet was watching.

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because black people have no rights.

If John McCain was a POW doesn't that mean he fucked up and got captured by the enemy? That's what he built his campaign on, loser.

What's wrong with hunting? Millions of animals are slaughtered every day for food, it's ok to electrocute 20 million cattle for burgers but it's not ok to set the dogs on a fox. A fox just a red dog with bad teeth.

What if we set fifty pigs on a human being? Equally deadly but less than electrocuting 20 million cattle. So then why is it illegal for one human to kill another?

It depends on the human. In some countries it's legal to kill sick people if they ask nicely. In some cultures burying dead people is considered a waste of good meat. And some people think they are heroes if they blow themselves up and kill lots of other people, the more the better.

If you got into a fight and killed someone you'd get 20 years for murder, unless it was in a boxing ring, then you get tons of money and talk to that posh chick on tv.

We're not that civilised really are we? There's lots of ways to kill people legally and it's getting worse.

So in the end of it, if I want drive through the tunnel at 150k at 6am it's up to me, there's no one else there at that time, it doesn't matter if there's a law against it. Except that one time the cop followed me to work, luckily I was in a melancholic mood and he didn't catch me doing anything unbecoming.

Well, it's easy to be melancholy at 6am, when you're not really awake. Try being melancholy at midnight in the pub. You'd have to be a goth.

The real reason I don't eat at Burger King is because I think the burgers are full of dead moths, the flame attracts them you know. I'll just go to McBurger's and have that microwaved thing, whatever it is. It's better to microwave them then you know that everything in there is definitely dead. Girlfriends sister doesn't even own a microwave, I thought that odd for a German.

Hmmmmm... I forgot I was going write now. How can you not own a microwave? In this day and age?

Nevermind, I'll think of something later


1 comment:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Lots of people don't own microwaves. I don't know a single gorilla that has one. Nothing can compare with the naked flame. That's why the Angus burger is flame grilled.