Big Brother's halfwit second Cousin

25 March 2009 12:33:05, Subject is replaying Motley Crue cover of Paranoid (British subversives)

I was playing songs in Shuffle Mode when someone interrupted me for some-bollocks-or-another and I missed the whole of Motley Crue’s Paranoid cover. The machine had started “I ain’t got you” but I hit the “back” button and it actually went back to the song. At the end of the song it went to “I ain’t got you” again. So, it’s not random is it? And it’s keeping a log of the songs I’ve listen to. Why? Is this the kind of crap that Big Brother is up to these days? Is this the sort of trivia that the world’s most redundant minds are preoccupied with? And I include myself in that allegation.

Next is “So Tired”, I’ve got about 50 squillion songs on my hard drive so why is the CIA making me listen to Ozzy Osbourne and the Blues Brothers by highjacking my media player using that “do you want to join our customer feedback program to help enhance your listening experience”. Ok, yeah, I’m buying that, I didn’t notice that keystroke logger in Kazaa, I was too busy looking at “bully the virus protector” or whatever-the-fuck that thing was dancing in the corner, fooled me completely. Well obviously that’s where the Lesbian Vampires dvd came from – they stole my credit card details. It’s been happening a lot lately.

Why didn’t they fold the CIA after the cold war ended? Now the fuckers are just sitting around annoying innocent(ish) folk. A fella phoned me on Monday morning to move my car from in front of his garage (I leave my phone number in the windscreen), the car was there from Friday afternoon and that was not a garage when I parked there. It was a normal house – I know what’s going on and I know you’re reading this. I'm deliberately spreading this (dis)information, or is it a double bluff???

Ha haaarr!

They're not very bright this CIA. LISTEN CAREFULLY; you can't subvert me by forcing me to listen to Ozzy Osbourne songs, THAT. IS. MY. OZZY. OSBOURNE. COLLECTION. you fucking idiot.

I'm removing the keystroke logger now but here's some stuff you can work on; my birthdate "1809", bra size 42A (that's right, and stop pretending you don't know yours, "just take another line baby it's all good" remember?), hat size - I don't know my fucking hat size, dog's name - fido (hee hee), cat's name - felix (hee hee he ha ha), mother's maiden name - "iron".

Have they gone yet? I hope so.

JJ