Real Laws

How does taxing airlines or introducing congestion charges for cars reduce carbon emissions? Because they stop people using those means of transport? Horseshit, those industries are growing and expanding, they're not doing it on the back of the investors good nature.

1. Each household is only permitted two vehicles. Unless they’re electric, then you can have more.

Don’t give me that crap about charging an electric car is using fossil fuel at the powerstation, that’s nowhere near the same and you know it.

Why all this fuss about banning Smoking in public areas, it’s just added burocracy and costs when you have to employ people to enforce it (obviously this doesn’t apply to Belgium)

2. Legal minimum age for buying and smoking cigarettes is raised to 30. That should slow the take-up rate.

Ok, easy enough? Let’s tackle teen pregnancy, binge drinking, inner city weekend violence/vandalism, this is so easy it ridiculous…

3. Legal minimum age for drinking alcohol raised to 25. Drinking in the streets is banned completely

This is a huge blow for the alcopop industry and Government revenues. So let’s say bugger the alcopop industry, let it die, remember how the real industries were killed off in the eighties? Just like that, no need to protect this poisonous rrrubbish. Government shouldn’t object, what they lose in revenue, they save in policing, healthcare, street cleaning etc. As an added bonus the Government also gets a generation of people aren’t alcoholics, assuming that’s what they want.

4. Abolish speed cameras and radar guns

Hooray!!.... but just a minute

All road vehicles will be fitted with speed limiters. They managed it with seat belts and Catalysts, it’s not difficult. This technology has been around for years and years and years. Problem is, if it was implemented then we might as well all drive those slow electric cars, there would be no more advantage to the petrol engine.

What about wreckless driving:

5. Road deaths prosecuted as manslaughter

6. Legal minimum age for driving, 25.

In any other walk of life, if someone dies through your carelessness or recklessness you can get 15 years for manslaughter. But if you are speeding on a busy road and kill a mother and her child walking to school what happens? You get a driving ban for 12 months. Remember that one? The Subaru Impreza. Is that the type of car that should be driven by a teenager in a built up area? Of course he'll do it if we let him, it’s up to us to stop this idiocy.

So that’s Binge Drinking, smoking, teen pregnancy, weekend violence, carbon emissions, road deaths and speeding all sorted out.

Sounds like heading into a nanny state? Look at Australia, you can’t walk your dog in the city (that's why they walk upright, they're not the lookout for dogshit all the time), the number of things you can’t do on the beach is at least a two hand count, they actually throw you out of pubs for being drunk. Yes it does feel like a nanny state, but the number of Brits (and people from every other country in the world it seems) that go there for a holiday and never come back is legendary.

Think about it, it sounds heavy but drunk teenagers aren’t going to mend your society.

JJ