Wednesday, 11 April 2007

Nutbush City Blog Rules

Finally, "mr real estate" (whoever he is) has produced his Bloggers Code of Conduct. I'm a bit surprised, reads more like something a politician or journalist would write, as opposed to being something actually useful. For me, he's got it all backwards.

he says : "(1) Misinformation and/or false information shall not be published or permitted in the blogosphere."
I say : 1. If you need important facts for something important, don't read it off a blog, do your own reasearch you lazy sod

he says : "(2) Posts or comments should remain civil, however, if someone does flame you in any way, shape or form, they should expect to be flamed in return in the form of a post or comment and they should not complain that they are treated in the same way that they have treated you. Libeling anyone should be refrained from entirely. "
I say : 2. Be as rude as you like and expect the same in return

he says : "(3) Information in a post shall not be stolen from a source or plagiarized. If information from a source other than your own is used, that source shall be cited. "
I say : 3. If you can't think of anything original or worthwhile then just don't bother

he says : "(4) You have the complete and total freedom to express your views and opinions in any way, shape or form you choose, as long as no one is flamed directly or libled in the process. You should not expect everyone to agree with your views and you should expect discussion and debate of your views openly when they are posted. "
I say : 4. People will disagree with you, live with it, pretend it's like normal life

He says :"(5) Posts that purposefully state something that cannot be proven about another blogger in order to increase traffic to your blog shall not be permitted. "
I say: 5. Blog Whores are painfully transparent, your peers will deal with you

He says : "(6) Bloggers shall do their best to adhere to good use of the English language, as to ensure a readable post by their readers. "
I say : 6. Whatever language you use, make sure it's cricket. (he seems to assume all blogs are in English! *makes slanderous gesture*)

He says: "(7) Violation of any of these guideliness shall constitute the violating blogger's permittance of his/her fellow bloggers posting juicy posts detailing his/her violation(s) in full."
I say: firstly read your own rule 6 about readable posts.
7. If you don't do as you're told, you will suffer violation(s) of your juicy bits

These rules are a bit dry and don't really address my own concerns so here's some additions of my own:

8. When commenting in the nude, try to keep both hands on the keyboard
9. If posting/commenting while at work make sure your screen is proplerly angled so that your colleagues/employer can't see what you're doing
10. The drink limit for blogging is one complete bottle of Jack Denials, or equivalent.

I think you know what's coming next...

If you have any fantastic super ideas for great blogging rules that'll help make the world a smaller place and spread one particular type of democracy to countries that don't want it, comments please.



MKWM said...

Does the Code of Conduct mention anything about backdating?

My mother tongue is French and I have to struggle to ensure a readable post by my potential readers. So here comes yet another slanderous gesture from me *na* (this is merely the Greek word that is uttered with the gesture).

Sorry, no fantastic super ideas so far. I'd have to think about the deep meaning of democracy first and I'm too tired for that right now. I rather need to relax and have a drink. JJ, pass that Jack Denials bottle, will you?

As I was saying, I do swear blogging is none of my concern, I was never involved with it and all these rules are rubbish. There must be a better way to make this world a smaller place.

Shaz said...

Not necessarily a Code of Conduct appendix but a word of warning "Don't drink coffee when Blogging as excitment may lead to spillage!! (Trust me, been there!!)

JolietJake said...

That was an accident, I left the thing in Drafts and then published it later. I thought the publish date was stamped when I clicked Publish.

I don't drink coffee anyway, that way lies madness - for me anyway.

MKWM said...

Just an accident, I see. It happened to me before. I reckon you already know that the date can be changed via the 'options', on the bottom left of your draft.

I couldn't live without coffee. I mean I could, of course, but I would feel sleepy all the time.