Monday, 9 February 2009

Dime Novel: Junk Blues

It was another rainy night in Eterbeek, I was double parked because I knew the cops wouldn't come out in the rain. The plastic black bar top was scratched to buggery and it was only a week old so I said to the guy "who the fuck puts plastic on a bar top? you should get wood", he passed me the cheese plate. This was how it went, he didn't speak English, I didn't speak French.

Actually, he didn't speack French either, he was Portugese. What could I do? This woman had been hassling me all night, even though I'd only been there an hour. She said she wanted sex but I got the impression she just wanted somewhere to spend the night. Well who takes a shopping trolley to a bar? Especially a trolley full of empty cans and plastic bottles.

Eventually I staggered out, alone, and got back into my car. The apartment was 15 meters away but I made it without being caught. As I walked to the door I glimpsed the cats running towards my car. They would play on it all night and leave muddy footprints to get at me. They didn't know it was smeared with chilli this time. Later on I watched in amusement as the cats vomitted in the bushes and muttered obscenities.

I slept well that night, I used to have a recurring dream that I was naked in the office but it seems to have gone away.



Gorilla Bananas said...

Cats played on your car? You must have buffed it with fish oil.

Leni Qinan said...

Once I dreamed I was naked in the office too. At least I could park my car near the building, and my boss was not in.

Joliet Jake said...

GB: actually cats don't eat fish, they run like buggery from any water so they aren't likely to go fishing

Leni: I'm sure lot's of people have dreamed you were naked in the office, I'll give it a go tonight

Ché l'écossais said...

I really liked that story, in fact I'm going to steal it and illustrate it.
I'm thinking lots of india ink and sepia wash, turn it into a 40's style dime comic.

Zed said...

You covered your car with chilli? You cruel, cruel man.

Joliet Jake said...

Hello Che, glad you liked it, I'll keep an eye out for the result

Zed: they started it