Tuesday, 3 June 2008

Travel XX, Le Big Mac

I was in Paris a couple of weeks of ago and it wasn't raining, I had a three day training session about how to manage projectors. The great thing was I could walk between hotel and training centre every day, that's more than pleasant when in Paris.

Not really inpressed with French food though, on the first day I had "Greek Plate" which is a kebab and chips (fries) on a flimsy plastic tray, the next day I a takeout chilli burger from an american themed bar and on the last day I had a Big Mac which is something I have successfully avoided for more than three years.

On the other hand I was impressed with their movies, I watched Iron Man in English in the Paramount theatre. Very good movie, apart from the excessive patriotism and posturing from american military types, but that might be my own fault for sitting in the cheap seats.

The train thing is good idea too, easier than getting a flight and more relaxing, food is actually worse but we get metal cutlery. I suppose they weren't expecting terorrists mid-week.

The film is all set up for a sequel, they left it wide open. The only question is will it be Iron Man 2 or Iron Man II? When did the Italians stop using Roman Numerals and start using Arabic ones? Imagine "CI things to do before you die", "Top X most eligible batchelors", how would we do algebra? How would we make figurative comparisons like "If there are x apples and y pears, how long is a piece of string?" It's not just counting, there are deep cultural repercussions, you'd be amazed how many times you talk about "x" and "y". I know I do it all the time, deep down I think people are scared of people who are good at algebra.

Maths in general is quite scary, unlike chemistry, chemistry is a good thing, people want to have chemistry or biology, french is also good but physics is bad and if there's too much drama you are history.

Gym is a funny business, I hated that at school but now I'm paying to do it in my own time. Not only do I pay someone who I've never met to borrow thier equipment but I clean the equipment when I'm finished. It's odd, because I don't clean anything at home, I pay someone else to clean it. I think my cleaner is crossing the line though, last week she put a rubber band around an open packet of crackers and I'm pretty sure she's checking dates on stuff in my fridge and throwing out old stuff. I don't think she should be doing that, it's one thing to clean the toilet but I don't want her handling my food. I'll eat stuff past it's date, I figure that the label people have to have a safety margin in the dates so I can stretch most of them a little.

I think what I need is a butler or a valet, someone to follow me around and clean up after me. I once read in a computer magazine that we can virtually pay people to do our jobs. For example, if I need a project plan for a system upgrade, I'd pay someone in India to do it while I spend the afternoon riding a horse. Likewise searching for a house, booking a holiday etc the salary difference is so big it's worthwhile.

I think I'll get someone to write my blog for me, or have I already done that? What does it matter, I'm making up stuff under a false name for people I'll never meet (most of them), do they care if I'm paying someone else to write it? Why should they? This is what technology has given us, everyone is publishing and making movies and music. Thanks to Nintendo Wii you can play golf and bowling in your living room, people work from home, soon there will be no need to leave home at all. We'll become pale with big eyes and skinny bodies from lack of food and excercise, that's why aliens are so wierd looking. By the time we develop enough technology to contact aliens we will also look like them. I can't wait, if everyone was bald there would be no stigma and no pain the arse "hair care".

Well goodnight, I've got a long day tomorrow, I've got to outsource my downloading of illegal music and movies, stealing intellectual property is just too time consuming and it isn't even illegal in India or China.

JJ

3 comments:

Scouse Doris said...

Do Aliens play air guitar or does that telephone finger get in the way?

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

I've got a houseboy you can have. He won't do much in the way of cleaning, but he can do loads of illegal downloading for you. Was that you I saw riding by on a horse the other day?

JolietJake said...

doris: you'll be surprised what aliens do after half a bottle of pimms on sunday afternoon. I was

Daphne: I don't really ride a horse, it was just a hypothetical and thanks for the offer but a houseboy in a one bed flat might be a bit scarey, especially that one.