KickBladder 3 - Bear Sex

Some people say there are no surprises in life, they are boring and unimaginative people, that is my opinion. My life is full of surprises, and so is my pocket like that time I found five Euro's outside my apartment.

So far there have been few surprises in the KickBladder competition, there was an interview with Ballack after his game and the reporter asked "which department do you think was the best for Germany?" I hoped he would say "Marketing" or "HR", nobody ever says the HR department makes a valuable contribution. But no, he didn't say anything like that, there were no surprises.

Mother Russia, the Great Bear, the biggest country in the world, the biggest country anywhere that we know of. Not the most populous though, why? It's too cold, nobody is scoring when it's minus forty two in the shade. As we saw yesterday, the heated Spanish are able to score four times for each successful penetration by the chilled northerners.

On the other hand, the Swedes had no problem banging in a couple against the unimaginative Greeks who tried to make a drama out of it but it just ended in tragedy.

But that's all yesterday's news, now the colourful Portugese have disposed of the Czechs by three to one and the vengeful Turks helped themselves to a two one against the Swiss. It's over for the Swiss, unless they can come up with a fancy watch that let's them go back through time and try again. I made contact with Aliens once using old phone parts and baking foil, that might be of some use.

It seems to me that when Czechoslovakia broke up, all the good players went to Czech Republic, I suppose The Game goes with The Beer. What did the Slovaks get? I bet it's tourism, any country can do tourism, it's like the international equivalent of "it's not the winning, it's the taking part that counts".

There should be a competition to see which is the best country in the world, why not? We have a Miss World competition, a Eurovision Song Contest, all sorts of awards for cars, boats, tv shows and films. We just have to agree on a list of categories and let the entrants come in. We could have a "Lifetime Contribution" award for countries like Switzerland who are never going to win anything else and we would have the Best Newcomer award which would have gone to Kosovo this year and Tibet would hope to win that one day.

On the other hand it's perfectly feasible that America could be the country that never wins anything, like UK and Germany in the Song contest. Their songs are just as bad as the others but no one will vote for them any more, it's a popularity contest more than a song contest. In that sense it's not a contest at all, it's an Election.

So, it should be a World Popularity Election and it's the taking part that counts. Each contestant will get a bag of M&M's and a colouring book, including the ones who have won real prizes.

Good night,

JJ