Tuesday 1 January 2008

Tuna Tale

Tim: I had that dream again
Tom: The one where you’re sitting on top of a huge baked potato?
Tim: No, the one where I’m sitting on a piece of bread covered in mayonnaise and there’s bits of salad falling out of the sky
Tom: Have you noticed how Dolphins don’t hang around with us anymore?
Tim: Yeh, since “the disappearances” started the Dolphins have been pretty scarce, they must have a hand in it
Tom: Can’t trust Dolphins
Tim: Nah, but they’re not as bad as sea horses
Tom: Yeh, that’s a screwed up piece of evolution, a horse that lives in the sea, no wonder they’re all mental. How do they swim when they haven’t got any fins?
Tim: Dunno, I was never any good at biology. Are you going to vote in the elections?
Tom: Probably, I might vote Blue Fin this time, Yellow Fin have had it easy for too long
Tim: Switching sides eh? Fair enough I suppose, they’re all the same anyway. Seen any good movies lately?
Tom: Nah, usual rubbish. Finding Nemo. Completely unrealistic, what does he eat? They don’t show that because they know he eats smaller fish and then he wouldn't be so cute would he? Shark Tale was complete rubbish, making them out to be some kind of organised gang that holds meetings. They’re just single minded killers everyone knows that, they don’t stop for a chat
Tim: Yeh, they got that right in Jaws
Tom: Yeh, world’s going soft now, it’s all that politically correct nonsense. You’re not supposed to blame the shark for being a killer, it’s his upbringing see, he’s a victim of social circumstance
Tim: Right, yeh, but what about the victims of his murderous teeth eh? Who care’s about them? No one, it’s all backwards
Tom: Yeh, all sharks should be harpooned on sight, no questions asked
Tim: Yep, you got that right
Tom: Yep

THE END

JJ

12 comments:

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

You've been spending too much time on Facebook. Happy New Year JJ

Soup Waiter said...

Happy New Year to you too. Facebook? well there was bugger all else to do at work today

Pat said...

Yes it was Amboise.

Soup Waiter said...

thanks

zoe said...

you eat too much cheese.

Soup Waiter said...

I like cheese, cheese is good, cheese has always been part of me, I can't stop now, I won't and no one can make me.

Ariel said...

Brine, spring water, sunflower oil or... olive oil?

Soup Waiter said...

Blasphemy! Heresy! A plague on your house! leave this place and take your foul condiments with you.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

You're going to have to rename this blog Joliet Jake's Monthly if you don't post something soon.

Soup Waiter said...

sorry, I'll think of something as soon as I can

The Aunt said...

I've found Nemo. If he eats smaller fish, I'd be very surprised if he finds any. He's less than an inch long.

He does get ticked off when you approach his anemone to look at him though, and rushes up and bangs angrily on your diving facemask to make you go away. It's very funny.

Soup Waiter said...

have you been diving? nice, never tried it myself. Anyway, yes he may only be an inch but there's an evil streak a mile long behind those beady eyes.

If I could get hold of him I'd beat him to within a inch of life, whatever that means.