It's finally here, the end of Summer(time) is today and we can all be late for work tomorrow morning. How did we place the end of summer in October? October for pete's sake! How bloody optimistic is that? To the best of my recollection we had a good run in April, after that it was patchy at best.
So what's a Tart Train then? Well I had the idea at Sushi Train restaurant, they have a bar with a little track on it and a succession of little dishes runs along the track. One can sit there and pick off as many as one wishes. I thought why not do the same with Mr Kiplings Tarts? It would be much more colourful and the name Tart Train has a better ring to it. Ok, it wasn't Mr Kiplings Tarts I was thinking of, it was the other Tarts, I can't help it, it's the sushi. I smeared it thoroughly with wasabe and soy sauce but the taste and texture still forced it's way onto my tongue. Don't get me wrong, I do like it and I'll eat it again but it just isn't satisfying enough on it's own.
I don't know about you but I've just returned from a fantastic party in Aachen, it's not often one has the opportunity to dance to Thunderstruck at 4am but the chance was there and I took it. Only when I woke up this morning did I realise the clocks went back a 3am so actually I've been foiled, it wasn't 4am it was 3. Bloody government, they ruin everything. At least they've got a government in Germany, here it's still shrugging of shoulders and rolling of eyes. More and more people are saying "tant pis" everything works fine like this, we don't need a government.
That's an idea for my You-Are-Peeing Union election caravan/campaign/train, let's give the EC, the Parliament and Council 6 months off. Then we'll see if the trains still run on time. While they are off they can all learn to play cricket. It is beyond me how anyone can expect to run an administration this size when they don't even play cricket. Where does the sense of fair play and decency come from? eh? Well it doesn't grow on trees but even that's a moot point because you buggers keep cutting them down. You can't build democracy by throwing your little metal balls into a gravel pit! what are you thinking?
You know what else I'm going to have on my election train? Gravy, boats of gravy to fuel my glorious Empire. But before that, I better check how Prescot's getting on with the new Constitution;
JP : I've wrote sumthin' about t'Presidecy and I was gunna do Foriegn Policy next
JJ : Is that it? Come on pick up the pace you lazy fat bastard, it's no wonder you are always the deputy. And Put that gravy boat down we haven't even stood for election yet.
all eyes turn to Gordon Brown
embarassing silence and shuffling of feet
Exit stage left
Thanks for coming, have a safe journey home.