JJ Goes for a business breakfast
Waitress : Good Morning sir, table for one is it?
JJ : Yes, table for one, just me this morning. Again.
Waitress : Will you be having the Continental Breakfast or the Full Breakfast?
JJ : I suppose it depends which continent you mean
Waitress : Excuse me?
JJ : I mean Australia is continent on it’s own isn’t it? So what’s the difference between full breakfast and continental?
Waitress : Full breakfast includes the warm stuff, sausages, bacon and all that
JJ : Errm, I think I’ll just have a bowl of Coco Pops, what’s that?
Waitress : Continental
JJ : What if have some toast, is it still continental?
Waitress : Err, that’s a bit of grey area, I’ll have to get the manager
JJ : Really? I’m surprised it’s never come up before
JJ finishes his Coco Pops and gets a slice of toast, the waitress and manager approach
Manager : Sorry sir, the toast only comes with the full breakfast so you’ll have to put it back
JJ : You’re kidding, you want me to pay the same price as that guy over there? He’s got sausages, bacon, eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms
Manager : Now that you mention it I’ll have to ask him where he got those mushrooms from, but you’ll still have to put the toast back
JJ : Just mark me down for a full breakfast
Waitress : I’ve already filled in the sheet, can’t change it now
JJ : Well, can I have this one against tomorrow’s breakfast?
Manager : sorry sir, we don’t do toast credit, we’ve had too many problems with that in the past
JJ : Can I get toast on room service?
Manager : Of course sir, the all day breakfast is available 24 hours on room service
JJ : I’ll it put back but I’ll be checking if you send the same one to my room
Manager : We’ll send that on to someone else sir, will there be anything else?
JJ : Can I get a glass of diet coke?
Manager : We don’t do diet coke at breakfast.
JJ : Why not? It must be cheaper than guava juice?
Manager : Probably is sir, but there’s no demand for it at breakfast
JJ : I suppose I could have it on room service
Manager : Indeed sir, you seem to be getting the hang of things nicely
JJ : So I just came down fifteen floors for a bowl of Coco Pops?
Manager : The irony is that room service Coco Pops are complimentary, it’s all in the Hotel Services Guide in your room
JJ : Who the hell reads that? Am I going to be charged for this breakfast?
Manager : Absolutely
JJ : I suppose I’m done here then, thanks.
Manager : Have a nice day
JJ : I doubt it
JJ skulks back to his room and calls room service
Phone Voice : Good morning, room service
JJ : Hi, can I a piece of fresh toast, a glass of diet coke and a bowl of complimentary Coco Pops
Phone Voice : Complimentary Coco Pops? I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean sir
JJ : Coco Pops are complimentary with in-room breakfast, it’s in the Hotel Services Guide
Phone Voice : Really? Wow, no one usually reads those things, but if it’s in there then ok, will that be all?
JJ : Oh, err just a minute it’s quite a long list in this guide thing. I’ll also have the complimentary breakfast massage, a case of those little shower gel bottles, the Lonely Planet for Greece and a hundred dollars. Cash. Make that two hundred
Phone Voice : Ok, that’ll be up in about fifteen minutes
JJ : Thank you very much
About fifteen minutes later the Manager turns up at the door.
JJ : Oh, it’s you again
Manager : I could say the same, but without the surprised tone
JJ : Ok, just leave it on the table
Manager : Would you like the massage before or after the Coco Pops? I’ve warmed my hands especially
JJ : Forget the massage, where do I sign?
Manager : Just here, where it says ‘sucker’s on expense accounts sign here’
JJ : All right, but you haven’t heard the last of me
Manager : Delighted to hear it, enjoy your stay
JJ : I doubt it
The manager leaves and JJ puts the Coco Pops in the bin, the milk runs out of the bottom on to the carpet.
JJ : Hmmmm, they really do turn the milk chocolatey, I might have those again tomorrow.
Sydney 01 July 2007, 3:58am