I'm not usually one for posting warnings about potential scams but I had a close call yesterday.
I walked into B&Q hardware store at lunchtime and some old guy dressed in a black shirt with an orange apron on asked me if I wanted decking.
Fortunately, I got the first punch in and sorted the bastard out.
Those less suspecting might not be so lucky.
Pass this warning on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
There was another thing with a game involving hitting a cyclist with a baseball bat but that's not so easy to share here, tremendous fun though!
JJ
Friday, 7 March 2008
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
Travel XVIII, You Promised Me Eternal Life!!!
So, Thursday was the cardboard flight to Geneve, and on Friday we went skiing...
The skiing was slow, wet, cautious, a little dangerous actually so after a couple of hours yours truly decided to have a little fun. Maximum speed down a wet slope with minimum vision (we're skiing in the clouds), it took about five seconds to realise that this was a major league shit idea. I took one turn to kill the speed and the next turn belted my dumb ass down the slope and gave me a whack in the head and a good few rolls. Also huge bruised knee, sprained neck and stomach muscles.
I took it slow for a bit after that. Then I got smacked in the head by a button lift, they don't usually come at head height but this one did. I had to go to medical and get three stitches, blood everywhere, shocking mess. Well, I didn't sleep much that night. The next day I just limped along and acted like a miserable git, it always intrigues me how much I like acting like a miserable git, why is that?
But now I'm back in BXL I was thinking about that Black & White song by Michael Jackson. He wrote that when he was bleaching his skin and straightening his hair.
It has to be said that in the mid eighties Jackson was treated like a genius. Now his problem is he can't figure out how to be a bastard, which is what pop culture does now. He could do worse than join a death metal band. If Jackson can be an Antichrist he'll sell more cd's than ever.
I say Micheal Jackson / Slayer duet; "Spirit in the Black". They could also do "Hell Awaits" but that might be out of Mick's league, that song needs presence and heavy. Or Sepultura, they like weird shit, who doesn't?
Enjoy your pudding!
JJ
The skiing was slow, wet, cautious, a little dangerous actually so after a couple of hours yours truly decided to have a little fun. Maximum speed down a wet slope with minimum vision (we're skiing in the clouds), it took about five seconds to realise that this was a major league shit idea. I took one turn to kill the speed and the next turn belted my dumb ass down the slope and gave me a whack in the head and a good few rolls. Also huge bruised knee, sprained neck and stomach muscles.
I took it slow for a bit after that. Then I got smacked in the head by a button lift, they don't usually come at head height but this one did. I had to go to medical and get three stitches, blood everywhere, shocking mess. Well, I didn't sleep much that night. The next day I just limped along and acted like a miserable git, it always intrigues me how much I like acting like a miserable git, why is that?
But now I'm back in BXL I was thinking about that Black & White song by Michael Jackson. He wrote that when he was bleaching his skin and straightening his hair.
It has to be said that in the mid eighties Jackson was treated like a genius. Now his problem is he can't figure out how to be a bastard, which is what pop culture does now. He could do worse than join a death metal band. If Jackson can be an Antichrist he'll sell more cd's than ever.
I say Micheal Jackson / Slayer duet; "Spirit in the Black". They could also do "Hell Awaits" but that might be out of Mick's league, that song needs presence and heavy. Or Sepultura, they like weird shit, who doesn't?
Enjoy your pudding!
JJ
Sunday, 24 February 2008
Travel XVII, Cold Places
When I was a schoolboy studying science the teacher asked us "why do animals have fur in cold places?", the answer was "to keep their cold places warm", which brings me rather neatly to Sankt Anton in Austria. That was the skiing do two weeks ago, a bit challenging but manageable. After all it was the British who invented winter sports, as pointed out to me by an Austrian. Makes perfect sense now, of course it has to be a Brit who first tied two planks to his feet and set off down a mountain at a ridiculous speed.
I can just see him now picking himself up and saying "nonsense, only one leg's broken, help me up, I'll get it next time". Being quite challenging slopes and not cheap, there are less reckless lunatics (teenagers) around so there were no accidents this year. For me anyway, two of the group came home with cracked ribs. Although one of them had a cracked rib before we went.
After that I had a team building trip to Aberfoyle, Scotland. Driving 4x4's in the woods, archery, caber tossing, highland fling (the dance) and so on. It was a nice few days away but team building isn't really my thing. The team building people encourage lateral thinking but if you start telling them their course sucks then you're being difficult. I wasn't that crude but I did demonstrate to the nice lady that her personality typing test didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. Her lame response was that it gave me confirmation of what I thought I knew, my lame response was "yeh, thanks for that".
Oh yes, the Edinburgh Ghost tour, a trip around the most the haunted place in Britain. It would've been great if we did see a Ghost but in the end it seems we just paid some geezer to stand around in the freezing cold for three hours. I suppose that's pretty much what people do when they visit Scotland anyway. Though it is true what they say about the scenery - spectacular. I must have taken a million pictures. Maybe not quite a million but definitely more than twenty.
The Amsterdam airport security were giving me some strange looks as I explained the Haggis to them. I had a tinned one in my carry-on and it set off the alarms. They just let me through because they didn't want to hear anymore about it. I don't see what the big deal is, bit's of pork and oatmeal in a sheep's intestine, if that's not exactly the same as a sausage you can bugger me with a banana.
So that was the delayed Valentine dinner, Haggis, mash and salad with a chilled Sancerre. Unfortunately, the Sancerre was red. Someone decided to get a red one for change and didn't tell someone else about it, needless to say it was all the first someone's fault as usual.
It's good to be back in Belgium though, sometimes it does feel like home. It must be the little things like chilled red wine that make me think "well, if I can do that then I must belong here somewhere".
Good day to you all.
JJ
I can just see him now picking himself up and saying "nonsense, only one leg's broken, help me up, I'll get it next time". Being quite challenging slopes and not cheap, there are less reckless lunatics (teenagers) around so there were no accidents this year. For me anyway, two of the group came home with cracked ribs. Although one of them had a cracked rib before we went.
After that I had a team building trip to Aberfoyle, Scotland. Driving 4x4's in the woods, archery, caber tossing, highland fling (the dance) and so on. It was a nice few days away but team building isn't really my thing. The team building people encourage lateral thinking but if you start telling them their course sucks then you're being difficult. I wasn't that crude but I did demonstrate to the nice lady that her personality typing test didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. Her lame response was that it gave me confirmation of what I thought I knew, my lame response was "yeh, thanks for that".
Oh yes, the Edinburgh Ghost tour, a trip around the most the haunted place in Britain. It would've been great if we did see a Ghost but in the end it seems we just paid some geezer to stand around in the freezing cold for three hours. I suppose that's pretty much what people do when they visit Scotland anyway. Though it is true what they say about the scenery - spectacular. I must have taken a million pictures. Maybe not quite a million but definitely more than twenty.
The Amsterdam airport security were giving me some strange looks as I explained the Haggis to them. I had a tinned one in my carry-on and it set off the alarms. They just let me through because they didn't want to hear anymore about it. I don't see what the big deal is, bit's of pork and oatmeal in a sheep's intestine, if that's not exactly the same as a sausage you can bugger me with a banana.
So that was the delayed Valentine dinner, Haggis, mash and salad with a chilled Sancerre. Unfortunately, the Sancerre was red. Someone decided to get a red one for change and didn't tell someone else about it, needless to say it was all the first someone's fault as usual.
It's good to be back in Belgium though, sometimes it does feel like home. It must be the little things like chilled red wine that make me think "well, if I can do that then I must belong here somewhere".
Good day to you all.
JJ
Sunday, 17 February 2008
Sunday Delhaize
I was on my way to the supermarket near Robert Schuman's Magic Roundabout when it struck me that Kosovo have declared independence, flippin' eck. There was rather a large crowd milling about, waving flags and beeping car horns. Didn't take them long to run up a flag did it? I wonder if they've got a song yet, they could have that Umberella-ella-ella song because they won't last five minutes without the EU, Nato, UN and George W's mob to protect them.
Apparently the Serbs are a bit put out. I don't blame them, this is the last thing you need on a Sunday afternoon. The Russians haven't taken it too well neither, their guy said "what next? Basque Country?" It was good of them to speak on behalf of Spanish soveriegnty, they are so nice these days. Expecially since their own country is so stable and happy.
But then there isn't much to do on a Sunday and if you've spent all morning drawing a flag you might as well use it.
I've been travelling for weeks now, including one week holiday so I could've just closed my eyes and snored until Monday morning. But life is rarely that simple or comfortable. Girlfriend suggested we go for a jaunt around the Abbey at Villers-la-Ville. I agreed because it gave me a chance to drag the new car out, it's just been sitting around in the car park for two weeks, it was a good idea in the end. It's only a half hour drive, lovely in the crisp sunny winter weather. The Abbey was beautifully lit, great for pictures with all the shadows and the stonework and what-not. We didn't stay though, straight home for a lovely pan fried cod fillet with buttered potatoes and salad, very nice.
I was hoping to watch the Snooker in the evening, the Welsh Open, but it isn't on BBC. Instead I've been jotting down this "vague-memoire" and sipping a nice Saint-Emillion while watching Ski Sunday and some fella teaching rat's to sniff out landmines in Africa. The rat's are as big as ferrets. Twice as viscious I'll warrant.
With all that going on it occurred to me that the EU could actually spawn it's own offspring instead of fishing around the outskirts for new members. If Scotland and Wales declare independence we'll have two new members for virtually no effort. I'm pretty sure Lapland would like to be a country and while we're in the area why not cut loose the 1842 islands of Finland? Then Malta, Gibraltar, Channel Isles and so on, with a bit of effort I'm sure we could stretch the EU to 2000 member countries! Imagine that! "Brussels" (the institution) would be bigger than Belgium!
But wait a minute, "Brussels" (the institution) already has a population greater than some countries of the world. We have all heard of San Marino, if only through their footballing "exploits". San Marino has a population of 29,000 people, not much but this is still a country. There are more people working for the combined institutions of the European Union than the entire population of San Marino.
Think about it, if the EU Administration put out a football team they could be better than San Marino, they might even grab a 1-1 draw against Germany. "How's that" for a measure of burocracy? Well here are some more countries which wouldn't fancy a game against EU Admin FC:
1. Nauru. 13,000 people
2. Tuvalu. 12,000
3. Liechtenstein. 34,000
4. St. Kitts and Nevis. 39,000
5. Marshall Islands. 54,000
Actually number five isn't confirmed yet. See page 6 of the DG Admin Statistical Bulletin for 2006; 42,548 permanent and temporary staff, 8,123 external staff. That's pre-Romanian-Bulgarian accession. If you include San Marino our administration is bigger than six countries and frankly that's all I have (or need) to say on the subject.
I'm going to sleep now. It's the first full day of Kosovan independance tomorrow, I'll need an early start to beat the traffic.
JJ
PS. Couldn't resist this one given the context; "How many people work for the EU?", "About half of them".
Apparently the Serbs are a bit put out. I don't blame them, this is the last thing you need on a Sunday afternoon. The Russians haven't taken it too well neither, their guy said "what next? Basque Country?" It was good of them to speak on behalf of Spanish soveriegnty, they are so nice these days. Expecially since their own country is so stable and happy.
But then there isn't much to do on a Sunday and if you've spent all morning drawing a flag you might as well use it.
I've been travelling for weeks now, including one week holiday so I could've just closed my eyes and snored until Monday morning. But life is rarely that simple or comfortable. Girlfriend suggested we go for a jaunt around the Abbey at Villers-la-Ville. I agreed because it gave me a chance to drag the new car out, it's just been sitting around in the car park for two weeks, it was a good idea in the end. It's only a half hour drive, lovely in the crisp sunny winter weather. The Abbey was beautifully lit, great for pictures with all the shadows and the stonework and what-not. We didn't stay though, straight home for a lovely pan fried cod fillet with buttered potatoes and salad, very nice.
I was hoping to watch the Snooker in the evening, the Welsh Open, but it isn't on BBC. Instead I've been jotting down this "vague-memoire" and sipping a nice Saint-Emillion while watching Ski Sunday and some fella teaching rat's to sniff out landmines in Africa. The rat's are as big as ferrets. Twice as viscious I'll warrant.
With all that going on it occurred to me that the EU could actually spawn it's own offspring instead of fishing around the outskirts for new members. If Scotland and Wales declare independence we'll have two new members for virtually no effort. I'm pretty sure Lapland would like to be a country and while we're in the area why not cut loose the 1842 islands of Finland? Then Malta, Gibraltar, Channel Isles and so on, with a bit of effort I'm sure we could stretch the EU to 2000 member countries! Imagine that! "Brussels" (the institution) would be bigger than Belgium!
But wait a minute, "Brussels" (the institution) already has a population greater than some countries of the world. We have all heard of San Marino, if only through their footballing "exploits". San Marino has a population of 29,000 people, not much but this is still a country. There are more people working for the combined institutions of the European Union than the entire population of San Marino.
Think about it, if the EU Administration put out a football team they could be better than San Marino, they might even grab a 1-1 draw against Germany. "How's that" for a measure of burocracy? Well here are some more countries which wouldn't fancy a game against EU Admin FC:
1. Nauru. 13,000 people
2. Tuvalu. 12,000
3. Liechtenstein. 34,000
4. St. Kitts and Nevis. 39,000
5. Marshall Islands. 54,000
Actually number five isn't confirmed yet. See page 6 of the DG Admin Statistical Bulletin for 2006; 42,548 permanent and temporary staff, 8,123 external staff. That's pre-Romanian-Bulgarian accession. If you include San Marino our administration is bigger than six countries and frankly that's all I have (or need) to say on the subject.
I'm going to sleep now. It's the first full day of Kosovan independance tomorrow, I'll need an early start to beat the traffic.
JJ
PS. Couldn't resist this one given the context; "How many people work for the EU?", "About half of them".
Saturday, 26 January 2008
Ouch! Stop it!
Now that Brussels is in a heightened state of terrorist alert I have to say I feel much more relaxed about going on the metro. It's about time they sealed off the waste bins down there, what have they been waiting for?
It's nice to see the authorities acting like this, usually people have to die before anything gets done. Does anyone feel like we are now also embroiled in The War Against Terror? Or were we more roused by the Sales? Perhaps neither.
Isn't it odd that the Americans have been bombing Afghanistan for four years now and they're still not finished? Just how big is this country? (647,500 sq kilometres, just a bit smaller than Texas). According to Google the population of Afghanistan is now 31,889,923 which is pretty much the same as it was five years ago, are they dropping water bombs or they just bombing the same little village every week? Are they even in Afghanistan? I've seen the pictures on the news but frankly that could be Arkansas for all I know, it wouldn't be a huge shock if Dubya had sent them to the wrong place.
The population of Iraq is now 27,499,638 I make that an increase of 7 since the war on terror began. 51 people die every day from suicide explosions (the 1 being the bomber), thats about ten times the success rate of the American bombs. What the hell is going on there? Does it really matter if the Americans stay or go? Most of the damage is what those people are doing to each other. The birth rate must be astronomical to keep up that population count, I guess the new borns are half American which would explain the lack of progress on the military front, too busy to fight. Imagine if America bombed Sweden for four years, assuming they could find it first, surely they would have surrendered by now. I think it's safe to say anyone can pick a fight with the modern American military, they are utterly useless.
I bet the Brussels bloggers group, armed with a handful of rocks and a few camels could invade Charleroi and challenge the American army to take it back. The hard part would be invading Charleroi, how do you get four camels into a taxi? (don't send in the answer, there are no prizes attached to this nonsense)
Needless to say I'm not a military expert by any stretch of the imagination and I don't gamble for obvious reasons. The rest is all true, it's all true, we're doomed, doomed! We're all going to hell in a hand cart!
But that's a long way away, today we're just going to Aachen for a party and I need to get some new skiing gloves to go skiing with.
JJ
It's nice to see the authorities acting like this, usually people have to die before anything gets done. Does anyone feel like we are now also embroiled in The War Against Terror? Or were we more roused by the Sales? Perhaps neither.
Isn't it odd that the Americans have been bombing Afghanistan for four years now and they're still not finished? Just how big is this country? (647,500 sq kilometres, just a bit smaller than Texas). According to Google the population of Afghanistan is now 31,889,923 which is pretty much the same as it was five years ago, are they dropping water bombs or they just bombing the same little village every week? Are they even in Afghanistan? I've seen the pictures on the news but frankly that could be Arkansas for all I know, it wouldn't be a huge shock if Dubya had sent them to the wrong place.
The population of Iraq is now 27,499,638 I make that an increase of 7 since the war on terror began. 51 people die every day from suicide explosions (the 1 being the bomber), thats about ten times the success rate of the American bombs. What the hell is going on there? Does it really matter if the Americans stay or go? Most of the damage is what those people are doing to each other. The birth rate must be astronomical to keep up that population count, I guess the new borns are half American which would explain the lack of progress on the military front, too busy to fight. Imagine if America bombed Sweden for four years, assuming they could find it first, surely they would have surrendered by now. I think it's safe to say anyone can pick a fight with the modern American military, they are utterly useless.
I bet the Brussels bloggers group, armed with a handful of rocks and a few camels could invade Charleroi and challenge the American army to take it back. The hard part would be invading Charleroi, how do you get four camels into a taxi? (don't send in the answer, there are no prizes attached to this nonsense)
Needless to say I'm not a military expert by any stretch of the imagination and I don't gamble for obvious reasons. The rest is all true, it's all true, we're doomed, doomed! We're all going to hell in a hand cart!
But that's a long way away, today we're just going to Aachen for a party and I need to get some new skiing gloves to go skiing with.
JJ
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