Thursday, 14 May 2009

The Mystery of the Green Thing

This week, I are mostly been learning about gardening, it's that green thing behind the house, didn't have one before. In the previous place I mean, obviously this house always had a garden. Well, it's not obvious from the front but that's the question about a tree falling in the forest and not making a sound. I mean I haven't seen the enging in my car but I'm pretty sure it's got one.

But back to the garden, it is green so that's already a good start. It's got grass, a tree and lot's of little things that could be shrubs, bushes or just plants, I'm not that clear on the technical terms. The previous tennant didn't put names on anything, bugger, so I'm going to have to give them new names. There's a prickly one I'm going to call Rosey because roses have thorns but I was never really sure whether they put the thorns on in the factory or if they are born like that.

That's as far as I've got. There's a nifty electrial lawnmower which is quite noisy so that's fun, I'll be doing that a lot. I wanted a ho to get between the bushes with but I couldn't find one in the garden section of Brico. Insead I bought a poisonous chemical, some gloves and a spikey diggy thing - not quite sure what its for but it looks like it could cause a nasty injury so it must be something to do with gardening.

There was already some equipment here so I've been trimming the bushes, they were getting a bit, well, bushy.

I've already got a baseball hat so now I just need a six pack and a barbecue and that should be it. I can invite The Germans round for dinner al fresco, we had a chat about money today. Not a financial discussion, we were talking about the slang terms for money, we say 25 quid is a "pony", 500 quid is a "monkey" etc The Germans are not that creative with their slang, they have some but it's more on the level of "fiver" for five poinds. So a funfzig note would be called a "fufi" and a hundert is a "huni". We've had better conversations.

Language is funny anyway, even before you start talking pony. What's the language of diplomacy? They talk about it on the tv but they don't say which language it really is. Some people say French is the language of love, garbage, Hindi is the language of love, I know, I can speak both, a little. When I was a school they explained diplomacy like this; "talk quietly but carry a big stick", but that was during the cold war. The big stick was supposed to be a nuclear weapon I think but at that age all could think of was "penis".

Not much has changed, the cold war had cooled off but now that rascal gasPutin is stirring the pot again. And I'm mixing metaphors in a pot so it must be getting late, sorry about that, next time I'll try take the pips out of my writing. "Writing" is a bit grandoise, what else can I call e-Penning? Maybe it's just word masturbation.

Bye then.


It's finished, really. I know it's not a smooth finish but that's all I've got.



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