Monday, 3 November 2008

Farts and Gripes

...or, to put it another way; Stars and Stripes, the land of the free, the home of Michael Jackson's monkey. A hundred million people are going to write kisses next to the one they love so that he can be in charge of everything for four years. It's a kind of gang bang St Valentines day.

Whoever wins it's a big responsibility but I'll tell you what, it's not going to be Obama, it's going to be McCain. I'm already having my Repbulican election dinner today, the chips are in the oven and the hot dogs are on the boil.

Here's the break down. Three months ago, Obama was twenty points clear, no one was taking bets any more. Now, having spent 600 million bucks and travelled to every square inch of the country, he's barely 5 points clear. 5 points is nothing in an opinion poll, they have a 3-5% error margin. It looks to me like Obama is hanging on by the skin of his teeth. This is exactly what happened last time out, George W was written off six months before the election, on the day he only needed to fiddle one state to claim the sash.

Sure McCain's going to have to fiddle one or maybe two states, but it won't be Florida this time. He'll win most states though, because of people. This happened in the UK once, the Conservatives at an all time low in popularity were facing defeat in the face so they gave up and put up a complete no-hoper, John Major. To this day even he can't believe he won. The interesting thing was, afterwards no one would admit to voting Conservative. Years later it transpired that Major was having an affair with the salmonella egg woman, ironic that he was in the circus before he joined politics - you could say he never really left.

People voted for a dullard rather than take a gamble on something new. That's Obama's whole campaign in the toilet, "Time for Change" or whatever the hell it is, he should be campaigning on "I promise to do nothing, you're safe with me". Bland faceless politicians are popular in conservative countries. Our politicians could rob us blind, which they regularly do, we would still put them right back up there rather than try to make a real change. (Side Note: The US and UK only have two real parties and they're both the same, there are other candidates but most voters are too scared of change)

Now I know you don't like the sound of this, I don't either, but sometimes grown up's do bad things and they're mean to each other, get over it. If Obama does win then I'll have got it all wrong but that won't stop me. This time next week I'll be predicting some other catastrophe or commenting some other baloney, god knows I'm not shooting for any prizes here.

So, Obama to lose, McCain to win, sure as I'm sitting here with a 1 kilo tub of Haribo liquorice all-sorts and a can of beer.



DJMatty said...

Hehe, got any predictions for lottery numbers? ;)

Joliet Jake said...

which one?

zoe said...

How are you feelin' today, darlin'?

Joliet Jake said...

I'm good thanks. Grateful that I'm not a political journo or something like that, but if I was then I would've just written a safe piece about Obama's new puppy or some other b*llocks. Yeeh, it's better like this.