Monday, 15 September 2008

Dreamtime 1, Cowboys xor Indians

This is from this morning, I woke up at 5.35 after dreaming about rowing a boat on a small reservoir but I quickly went back to sleep.

There was a rumour going around the village that bandits were going to attack the bank, and rob it. As it was late in the evening already the sheriff decided to post some men inside the bank overnight, to surprise the robbers. We volunteered immediately; gun toting was all we had in those days so we pretty much volunteered for everything that involved toting a gun. Everything involved toting a gun.

It was a big bank so everyone had to spread out, me and my two brothers were put in the big room in the middle of the bank next to the vault. We settled down to get some sleep. It was a quiet night, actually we didn't believe there would be any bandits. There were always rumours about someone attacking the village, we didn't even bring our guns. In fact we weren't even dressed like gun toting cowboys, we were wearing our school clothes from the seventies, beige flares and flowery shirts. Until secondary school we didn't wear uniforms.

I was the first awake, it was almost daylight so I woke the other two up, "it's a quarter to six, the bank staff will be here soon, we might as well pack up". We were almost ready to leave when the most fearful commotion brewed up outside, there was screaming and running around, we took a step back, the shooting started and somebody set a fire against the main door. Next thing we all expected an explosion, the middle of the room was empty so we ducked down behind some armchairs.

It wasn't an explosion at all, it was the alarm clock, ACDC – Let there be Rock, the timing was spot on because we were about to get slaughtered. Once awake I thought to myself, "why the hell didn't we have guns? There should have been a big oak table in the middle of the room to brace the door". I managed to find the snooze and soon I was back in the pre-vault room, huge oak table in the middle, result! Machine gun in hand, result! Only problem was, no brothers, instead of brothers I now had a large dog and a woman. The woman didn't look like she was sent to fight bandits. I'd spent the night with brothers and I was preparing to tote a gun with a woman, it was all wrong again! At least I was wearing jeans and a flannel shirt this time.

There was no moving the oak table now, but there was another smaller table to duck behind, she said "a wooden table won't stop bullets!" and I pointed out the titanium sheet attached under the table top. I was trying to impress her with my metallurgical knowledge. I couldn't get the dog to settle down before the explosion went off, poor mutt caught a huge piece of shrapnel in the neck, it was a mess but at least he didn't suffer. Bandits charged in and I let loose with the machine gun, bandits charged out again and crouched in the door way. Traditional gun fight ensued, traditional excepting that I was toting an M-16.

Don't know what happened next, I remember thinking "Shirley the sheriff and his boys'll be here soon, I'm not going to last long at this. Not now Shirley can't you see were under attack?" The next thing I heard was Thunderstruck (also ACDC for them 'as don't know). Normally I would have hit the snooze to see how it worked out with Shirley, but it's Monday morning and I have to wrestle some cowboys in Finance today. So I toddled off to work.



Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

You have to know how to interpret dreams. If the dog is really a bicycle, and the wooden table is really Paul Newman, I'd hazard a guess that you'd watched Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid recently.

JolietJake said...

How can a dog be a bicycle? crazy lady, it's been a long time since I seen that picture but I gets your point. Even though it's wrong.