Sunday, 25 November 2007

Travel XV, A Twat in a Box

What ho! Just got back from a weekend jaunt to Hamburg. Splendid, maarvellous city. Packed with history and all sorts of life (day and night), this place could easily fill more than a weekend break, as you would expect from a big city.

Yesterday we explored the huge port and a few other bits and pieces (Joahannes Brams Memorial, St Michel church etc) and went for dinner at Nil Restaurant. A very atmospheric little place, we were seated on a balcony, I recommend the Elk Steak, yum. Topped with a drink at a local bar, one of those spacious set-ups with sofa seating, we (girlfriend and I) finished off with a trip to St Pauli (red light district). The Reeperbahn is as much a tourist attraction as Pat Pong of Bangkok, we wandered into a huge marital aids shop (not martial arts, very subtle difference not only in spelling). It was mostly womens toys, I was given a re-assuring "you don't need that" while perusing the stamina increasing potions.

There was a tremendous seletion of gimp outfits and strange hardware in the basement, we left that more bemused than excited. The men's bit was dissapointing to say the least, an 800 euro solid rubber doll, a selection of blow up dolls and a selection of women's genitalia made of rubber in various colours. I thought to myself; I've only brought hand luggage, how will I explain this?, I don't even know what it's called "a twat in a box?". I left it.

Today we did the bus tour, as it was raining most of the day. The British influence on this city is striking, although it's more the case that the place already looked very British so the Brits took it over after the war and rebuilt it. They get credit for Hamburg being the press/media centre of Germany, well done! There was even a fish and chip shop (with vinegar) at the entrance to the railway station. I thought it would make a great picture but the lady working there had a different view. Obviously African, she charged out of the shop and grabbed my camera shouting "no pictures! no pictures!", I didn't expect that. The station was full of police officers as rival football fans arrived chanting and singing for the days game, a bit unnerving we thought. So we finished the tour and had nice (late) lunch back at the hotel before setting off back to Brussels.

We might go back in summer, I would recommend it.

I'll sleep well tonight.

JJ

4 comments:

Daphne Wayne-Bough, said...

Pillock. The African lady was probably an illegal. Nice of us to rebuild Hamburg after we bombed it to smithereens wasn't it? The Germans didn't rebuild Coventry, Glasgow or parts of London.

SpanishGoth said...

Your Afrikaans is not very good is it?! She was saying "No fuck me, no fuck me" in an exasperated rather than expectant way

zoe said...

i could always give you a twat in a box if you want.

JolietJake said...

Good point Daphne, they were probably a bit knackered but I'll mention that to girlfriend over dinner. She's not that sharp at DIY but she can at least try. Actually I didn't realise Glasgow was bombed, didn't it always look like that? (boom boom)

Spanish: it was definately my camera she grabbed and she was able speak both German and English

zoe: thanks for the offer but it would have to be a big box and I'm not very good with pets or plants.