JJ calls the helpdesk:
HD: Hello caller how are you today?
JJ : pretty hacked off as it goes, how are you?
HD : good, I am also very well thank you. How may help you today?
JJ : some muppet posted a spice girls song in my comments, two people have already seen it but I need it taken off pronto
HD : what is a "muppet" caller?
JJ : Goth's a f***ing muppet, can you delete his comment?
HD : of course, but what do you mean "Goth"?
JJ : you don't even wanna go there honey
HD : how are you spelling Goth?
JJ : here we go, Golf Oscar Tango Hotel
HD : which hotel is that caller?
JJ : it's not a hotel, i'm just telling you the spelling, H for Hotel
HD : yes but i don't know which hotel you are talking about
JJ : it's not a hotel, Goth ends with Hotel
HD : why? Doesn't it have a place to live?
JJ : yes it does but that's not the point, just look at the comments
HD : there are no comments, you haven't posted this yet
JJ : not this one! the previous one you tit!
HD : oooohh! Look who's uppity? Not getting any?
JJ : you're the second person to ask me that today, what is it? Is it me?
HD : no caller, it's not you it's me, you're a really beautiful person but I need my space (he he hee)
JJ : I don't believe this, are you going to help me or not?
HD : sure i'll help you, there'll be a parcel in the post, plain brown wrapping, har har haaar
JJ : oh you're cracking me up now, you don't really give a monkey's do you?
HD : awwww, ish sho unfair the nashtee liddle lay-dee ish makin' fun o' the biiiig maaan
JJ : piss off, i'll just twat the c**t next time I see him
HD : thank's for calling! Have a nice day!
JJ : bollocks