Monday, 14 May 2007

French Presidential Erection

Strawberries and kiwi fruit "make the man's liquid taste better" A past girlfriend told me that, in all seriousness. I was amused, but should I have been offended? After all, she had tasted my liquid on several occassions, even sober. She also told me the secret to making the woman's liquid more yummy but I can't remember it now. I suppose the easy thing would be to insert the kiwi fruit and strawberries. Now what's that called? It's not an enema and I don't suppose it's a suppository, I suppose that's the same thing as an enema, but who would have supposed that a suppository is supposed to go into Australia? But going forward, Pessary rings a distant bell. Imagine that on the dessert menu "does the fruit pessary come with whipped cream?"

Mozambique is threatening to cut electricity supplies to Zimbabwe because they haven't paid their bills ammounting to $9m.
Zimbabwe's Ambassador to the UN, Boniface Chidyausiku speaking on Zimbabwe getting the CSD presidency said: "It's our right. We're members of the United Nations and we're members of CSD, and the Africa group did make a decision and endorsed Zimbabwe... they're making a storm out of a teacup."

That's the real reason why Englanders are moving abroad by the truckload, when Johnny Foriegner arses a quote like that it's easier to be living abroad. The next time someone tells me I'm making a storm out of a tea cup I want to tell him he's got it wrong without having to re-write baa-baa-black-sheep.

It's annual sing song time again in Europe. Ireland is the most successful nation since the competition began in 1956, with seven wins. This year Serbia won because the Ukranian effort was a Tranny. Next year the prize will be instant membership of the EU. After that the competition will stop being about "songs" and turn into a competition about who can find a way to profit out of Turkey joining the second French Revolution. The prize for that will be a kick in the nuts from Segolene Royale, I'm already penning my entry on behalf of Kazahkstan.

I never wanted to be the French President's enama but until that vote came in, the sun was almost shining.

JJ

4 comments:

SpanishGoth said...

Enemas and juices - not difficult to see why you weren't out to play over the weekend then.....

Tippler said...

Er. Inserting the kiwi fruit and strawberries?

Not down MY Jap's Eye she bloody doesn't...

She can take it as it comes.

JolietJake said...

spanish, I was in clog-land all weekend, see previous post

tippler, errmm, we were the other way up, I thought that was implied. I really hope you understand this now.

Definately don't try this at home kids.

Tippler said...

I was SO hoping you'd say that...